"Tell me what needs doing" can sound helpful while leaving the same person responsible for noticing, explaining and checking every task. During the first weeks with a baby, divide responsibilities far enough that the person taking a job can finish it without repeated instructions.
Start with the work that happens every day. Food, dishes, laundry, pet care and an older child's routine each contain several steps. Cooking dinner also involves choosing food and leaving the kitchen usable. Washing clothes includes moving them out of the machine and returning the essentials to the rooms where people need them.
Give a person ownership of a result
Instead of assigning "help with laundry," agree that someone will keep a supply of clean baby clothes and adult basics available. They decide when to run a load, within the household's usual preferences. The recovering parent should not have to remind them that the wet laundry is still in the machine.
A task board can be as simple as three columns: responsibility, person and next check. Keep it somewhere the adults already look. Avoid assigning the person who is feeding or recovering a permanent supervisory role just because they previously managed the home.
Talk about what counts as finished. A dishwasher may be clean but still need unloading before bottles or breakfast dishes can be put away. A grocery order may be paid for but still need someone at home to receive it. These unfinished edges are often where frustration accumulates.
Consider a morning when one parent is feeding and the other is preparing to leave for work. If "breakfast" belongs to the departing adult, agree whether that includes setting out food for the parent staying home and washing the pan. Otherwise the job may be marked complete while the main burden has only moved. The same conversation can establish a realistic limit: perhaps lunch preparation belongs to a different person or is covered by leftovers.
Ownership should still allow questions and changes. A person taking over a job may do it differently, and some differences do not matter. Identify genuine requirements, such as an allergy, a product instruction or a necessary departure time, separately from preferences about which shelf holds the plates. This lets another adult use judgement without having to seek permission for every small choice. Where a requirement matters, write it once and keep it accessible.
Divide capacity rather than counting tasks
Two jobs are not necessarily equal. One adult may be physically recovering, another working a long shift and a relative available only for a short visit. Discuss time, lifting, travel and interruptions instead of comparing the number of boxes beside each name.
If a task cannot be covered, reduce its scope where possible. Towels can remain in a clean basket rather than being folded into matching sets. A simpler dinner may remove a shopping trip. Do not solve a shortfall by quietly adding everything back to the person with the least uninterrupted time.
Revisit the arrangement after a few days. Ask which job keeps failing, what information was missing and whether the named person still has capacity. Change the assignment without treating it as a character judgement. A household plan is useful when it reflects the week you are actually living through.
